Anyone that knows me knows that I am very much an extrovert.  One of my friends said that I was "70% mouth"  which means that you usually hear me before you see me, which is very true.  After many years of self doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity about a whole load of stuff, I have started to take the proverbial bull by the horns and embracing new things, forming new friendships and generally being the woman that God called me to be and knew that I could be - hardworking, fun, motivated and determined.  As a wise woman once said (and continues to say), "I'm not where I'm supposed to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be." Thats a great attitude to have and is one that I am determined to have.  Anyways I digress...

 

Just a little note here.  When I say 'long distance relationships, I am talking about friendships as well as romantic connections.  I have a lot of friends but very few close close friends and one of them happens to be someone that I met online and one that lives thousands of miles away.  I mean I have made a friend that I met online before.  It was on Mypace  (remember that one? I thought so...) and she contacted me out of the blue, no warning.  We continued to email for several weeks (it may have been 2-3 months, Im not sure) and then I asked if we could meet.  We did and got on very well and the rest is history...so it can definitely work. But she only lived like 20 mins from my house so I cannot really count it as long distance...but you know what I mean.  So I know online friendships and relationships can work but can LONG DISTANCE online relationships/friendships work?  I say yes but it has taken a long while for me to change my mind.  I have tried them in the past and it had always ended in disappointment.  Now I find myself  not only part of a wide ranging but close knit community in Factoidz (you guys rock!) but I have had a paradigm shift in my thinking in this area. Before, I continue, it is absolutely crucial to take care when embarking on a long distance relationship.  It canbe frustrating, it can be patience-testing, it can be heartbreaking.  On the other hand, it can be exhilarating, fun and can open and broaden your horizons like you would not believe.  I am not going to make any blanket statements and say that long distance relationships do or dont work.  This article is taken purely from a personal perspective and observations.

 

The start of the relationship can be intense.  This is what I definitely found.  Once contact had been established (through email no less - yes this is 21st century friendship as we know it...), there was a flurry of emails.  This is the verbal equivalent of meeting up on a first date (although this is just a friendship) and finding out what makes each other tick.  I mean, if it had been a phonecall, it would have taken maybe an hour or two.  As it was, it took a couple of days, but I liked it like that.  Building slow is the key.  Information overload is not needed or appreciated. As things develop, you will find out more about each other and when you do meet, you will have something to talk about.

 

The second  period is when you have 'settled in' to the friendship.  This is the equivalent of having hung out a few times and decided that, yes you are in this for the long haul (or not as in some cases).  Some of the conversations may seem a little humdrum, but thats ok.  This is normal but it is not always the case.  Im still in the intense stage, Im quite fortunate, it has lasted a while and I always look forward to hearing from my friend and it is always great.  But I wont be scared or put off when and if the inevitable 'settling' occurs.

 

So I am a believer in long distance friendships.  My eyes have been opened to different people, different cultures and different skills and abilities and my horizons continue to be broadened.  Obviously, one must take care and precautions but as I heard from a film ( I forget which one) 'never let the fear of striking out stop you from being in the game.'  This is definitely the case here.  I have had to kiss a few long distance frogs to get what I wanted but it was all worth it in the end...I would like to hear of your experiences and stories.

 

Take care and God Bless readers...